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You are

there and you are not
like the dizzy sorrows that are mine
lining my shirt, frosting my drink
as I walk across downtown Calcutta
my beloved misery 
where your smiles light up the stairs
and my cigarettes endless
like your days and ways
that are my sorrows, my ins and outs

How I look
at myself

is an odd thing to ask before the
pen and the paper, and an hour
that is not ideal for confessions

It is morning, after all

Are you not reminded of the promises
round the corner that such mornings
used to brag about?

I am, and I have not yet recovered

from the treachery of nothingness


We sit around your séance tonight
as all our rotten old loves flock around

like ghosts in their eerie lovemaking
we don't learn, we don't laugh
we're wallpapers hanging tattered
and loose - as we must

- we don't mourn, we don't bluff
but Hello!  Wait a second or two
my first first love: who are you?

Asking me to glee
as the traffic changed from red
to blue like your lips from red to blue
so untrue my first
first love: who are you?


You are the evening threshold and you
are the smog and the hungry people passing by
you are the haggling, the snug pigeon holes

and the likenesses of all the gods above

hanging her tongue red and hanging loose
as if in shame: the people streaming by

that cannot be considered familiar
as if in a dream: for we are the people

flooding your wilderness, offering nothing


Why is it that you always close
your eyes while we are making love?
Why is it that we are always crossing
swords? Why is it that I cannot write
to you anymore? Why is it that you
always get ever so lost in my coffee
drizzles? Why is it that I grow cold
even while tending your young and
supple breasts?
Why is it that you always
walk away during the sandstorms,
just before the rains would wash
down our orgasm? Why is it that
you make me forget all those lines
I once tried to write about you?
Why is it that you are one of
my unkept words?

(c) Prasenjit Maiti 2002

Prasenjit Maiti
(b 1971) is widely published on the web.  He is Senior Lecturer in Political Science, Burdwan University, West Bengal, India.