While the Body Lives On I have known the feeling, known the longing, kept it hidden far under the breast, of the hanging death of the self, and have known it all quite long now, of how it is not I who I walk around, no, not at all. Ten years ago, maybe eleven, they had me sprawled, stretched out, mechanized, and there was nothing to do but die, just out and out desist, and yet my body lived. It's not such a great trick, to die while the body lives, for after all, the dead people do the opposite all the time -- their bodies die while their soul flies off. They do it all the time: one mass drops, the better part goes forth. The real trick is to know the feeling, know the longing, then find something good to do with it all; not an easy trick, but the one to do, so we all must conjure a way to resurrect ourselves while the body lives on. Ordeals Much courage is needed, much yearning is needed, to be born. The fabric must be parted -- like a shoot pushing, pushing, from the bulb, through the loam -- by desire. You do not yearn for despair, yet it is here. You do not crave loneliness, yet it can't be avoided, out here . . . these are burdens bodies must bear. Rare are the bodies who provide more pleasure than pain throughout a life, so when I spoke of desire, it is not the yearning for a body I meant. Instead you must want a refinement to the soul, an odd desire that takes hundreds of years to create in someone who has once died and got the past ordeal completed. The Pounding of Ideas Ideas are rarely born pristine, bold thoughts never appearing cherubic. Malformed is how the greatest concepts strike contemporaries, for most world- changing religions or philosophies generally get their founders murdered. The same is true for lesser ideas, only with a weaker form of homicide. Familiarity with the creator makes it difficult to discern pearls from warts, and time is just as cumbersome as distance when identifying jewels. Fulton's Folly was clearly folly to both those who knew him and those who shared his same decade but a different continent. Although with luck the creator can quickly describe his vision in the midst of derision. Imagine how the naked wheel must have looked to our prehistoric brethren until it was married to a cart. Some final traits of this elusive sprite, idea, can be seen in how one era judges a prior one. It's easy to discern the foolishness of each generation in its rejection of those ideas we now use every day. And one can quickly see the remorse we feel for those creators who somehow got themselves crucified, yet it is nearly impossible to look forward in time to determine which nails we ourselves pound in, pound in. The Limits of Love It is not in you, as a finite being, to love what is not tangible. You love best what loves you back without questions. Young children, or dogs, will happily perform this function. It is not in you to love what you cannot touch, what will refuse to touch you back. Your hands yearn for other hands, your flesh desires flesh, your mind must understand the recipient mind, or at least believe so. We are no good at theology, even the wisest of us, for no worship survives more than several millenniums. You could have done this better had you been angelic, but such requires better stuff than clay . . . yet you try and try, and though you never find the adequate love, these perennial attempts are why the universe loves you so, for that much is in you, and no one else. (c) Ward Kelley 2003 |
Ward Kelley With more than 1400 of his poems appear in journals world wide you could say Ward is prolific! He is a two-time Pushcart Prize nominee whose publication credits include such journals as: Plainsongs, Another Chicago Magazine, Rattle, Midstream, Zuzu's Petals, Ginger Hill, Sunstone, Pif, Whetstone, Melic Review, AnotherSun, Thunder Sandwich, Potpourri and Skylark. He was the recipient of the Nassau Review Poetry Award for 2001. Kelley is the author of two paperbacks: "histories of souls," a poetry collection, and "Divine Murder," a novel; he also has an epic poem, "comedy incarnate" on CD and CD ROM. |
